


We Were Something (Don’t You Think So?)

by bokemilk



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, but not a lot, these two need to get their shit together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25608067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokemilk/pseuds/bokemilk
Summary: “i persist and resist the temptation to ask youif one thing had been differentwould everything be different today?”…Between Hinata and Kageyama, there were always going to be things left unsaid. They let words rot in their throats, dancing around until the music stops.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	We Were Something (Don’t You Think So?)

**Author's Note:**

> this was written after listening to ‘the 1’ by taylor swift.

It was always there.

On the court, it was a spark. A shocking burst of electricity that ran through his veins. It was when the ball would bounce off Kageyama’s fingers, fitting perfectly into Hinata’s palm before slamming it down at record speed. There was a silent plea from him, one that Kageyama could hear loud and clear.  _ “Toss to me.” _

Off the court, it was a warmth. A constant, low fire burning underneath his skin. When Kageyama would pass him a water bottle, fingertips brushing against his own, he could feel his whole body burn with something unfamiliar. In the winter, Hinata would linger a bit closer, bathing in the subtle heat. Kageyama knew his plea.  _ “Stay with me.” _

It remained like that throughout their first year of high school. In between their competitions and arguments, there was  _ something _ . A weighted, yet overwhelmingly addicting feeling. But they never talked about it. They thought they never needed to. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


In their second year, the low fire turned into a blaze. The spark turned into a livewire. 

With them becoming classmates, what once was simply walking home together evolved into lunch together. Walking to class together. Doing homework together. Spending the night at each other’s houses. The one-time hit became an addiction and, at least for Hinata, it was as if one could not exist without the other. 

Then, during a sleepover at Kageyama’s house, Hinata lied awake. Despite practicing together the whole night, his body refused to fall asleep. He tossed and turned in his futon on the floor, careful not to wake Kageyama sleeping on the bed. Hinata desperately tried to force his eyes shut, trying to let his consciousness swim dully in his own thoughts. The world started to fade, and he could feel himself drifting off, when a voice sounded in his head. 

_ You love him _ . 

Hinata jolted awake, a shiver running through him. He clinged onto the blanket, the words ringing in his mind. “ _ What the hell?” _ , he thought. But he was never one for self-denial, and desperate for sleep, satisfied his inner self with a simple  _ “I’ll talk to him tomorrow” _ . 

But he never did. The moment they both wake up, there was only 10 minutes left before morning practice. Within the haze of getting ready, racing to school, and making it through classes without any homework done, Hinata didn’t remember his promise until it was just him and Kageyama. Everyone else was long gone, unable and unwilling to keep up with their stamina. 

Hinata couldn’t keep up with hiding his feelings, but a horrible dread filled the pit of his stomach until it overflowed into his throat. The moment he opened his mouth, it was closed back down by irrational and cold fear. It trapped him like a coiling snake, clogging his throat until he could only breath shallow breaths. 

If Kageyama noticed, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. Because, after pulling out the cart of volleyballs, he looked Hinata dead in the eye. 

There it was again. The silent plea. An understanding that transcended words. It was in the way Kageyama’s eyes glowed, and how his skin went pink around the cheeks. It was in the warmth that spread between them despite being five feet apart. 

Hinata broke eye contact first, calling for a toss. Kageyama, as always, silently followed; his plea lingered in the air.  _ “Can I stay over?” _

Another sleepover, this time at Hinata’s, and no futons were pulled out. Just them, in Hinata’s tiny bed, letting the fire consume them. That, in itself, became routine.  _ It’s wonderful _ , Hinata tells himself,  _ how we’re together more than we are apart.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


In their third and final year, they kissed. 

It was on the rooftop, as cliché as it was. There was no drawn out build up or confessions, just the two of them sat next to each other with their lunch. 

They were talking, Hinata particularly rambling about Tsukishima possibly being invited to the All-Japan training camp. He knew Kageyama was staring, making him blush with the sun being his only excuse. When Hinata turned to him for input, Kageyama was frozen still, gaze steady on the face before him. 

Hinata was about to speak, but then he felt a hand on his jaw. Suddenly, Kageyama’s face was inches before his own, bodies erupting in heat and coursing with electricity. They stared into each other’s eyes, and they  _ knew _ . 

They don’t know who leaned in first, but their lips connected. As it always was with Kageyama, Hinata felt warm. His skin tingled, the rest of the world melting into a dull buzz. He wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s neck and played with the tiny hairs that say there, feeling alive _.  _

When they pulled away, no words were said. As it always was between them, they deemed the silence enough. Hinata ignored the dread that came with that thought. 

They never did say anything, nor did they ever kiss again. 

Not even in the gym after graduation, their togas and caps tossed to the side in favor of their final moments in Karasuno’s gym. Not when they stepped out hours later with hearts heavier than lead. 

Not when they reached the spot where they parted ways, knowing that if something didn’t happen here, the chance may never come again. 

Hinata wanted to say something. He wanted to tell Kageyama what he admitted to himself a year ago. He wanted to grab him by the neck and kiss him for what could be the last time. He wanted Kageyama to give him a promise— that when they meet at the top, he’d still choose Hinata. 

But it was as it always was. Silent. 

Because with Hinata and Kageyama, things will always be left unsaid. They let words rot in their throats, dancing around until the music stopped.

They parted with nothing but ‘goodbye’.

Hinata lied to himself as he biked home. He mumbled into the wind, “It’s not like that will be the last time I talked to him.” But deep down, in the pits of his sorrows and insecurities, was the remnants of a fire. In his stomach brewed a feeling of regret and loss. His subconscious yelled at him,  _ “You ran away!” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


No. To be exact, he  _ flew _ away. 

When he stepped onto Brazilian soil, Hinata had no more time left to think about what he left behind. He was here to get better at volleyball and meet Kageyama at the top, whether they were something or not. 

He trained hard. His constant time in the sun tanned his skin, but he basked in it. He basked in the feeling of sand all over him, bruises and tan lines becoming his battle scars. He made his days revolve around Volleyball and work, as well as immersed himself in the culture and language of Brazil. 

But in somber Brazilian nights, most especially after filling his system with alcohol, he couldn’t help but stare at the contact on his phone.  _ It’s painful _ , Hinata thinks,  _ how we’re apart with no reason to be together.  _

So, in his final month there, he crafted a letter to Kageyama. In the small amounts of free time he had, he takes the time to sit down and complete it little by little. 

He let the pen speak the words that clog his throat. He let the ink take the shape of everything he’s ever wanted to say. It’s as if his heart had turned to liquid and dripped onto the page, desperate to reach the one it longed for. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He was only able to write it halfway before his time in Brazil ran out. In his bag, a half-written piece of his heart lays waiting to be completed. 

It remained unfinished for the majority of his return, Hinata jumping into training with his new team the moment he got back. With the new season coming up, Hinata knew he’d be facing Kageyama soon. A new and improved version of him, well-trained with his own team. 

A team that wasn’t Hinata’s. 

The prospects of their inevitable game did excite Hinata. That’s how he answered his teammates when they questioned how he felt about having to face his previous teammate. There’s truth, because the chance to fulfill an long-overdue promise would bring anyone to their feet. 

But he doesn’t tell them of the regret. Remained quiet about the sliver of hope he had for the fire that once burned within him to reignite. 

Two weeks before their scheduled match with the Schweiden Adlers, he brought out the unfinished letter.  _ Now or never _ , he told himself. He was going to give it after the game, and they were going to finally _ talk _ . This was a promise to himself, a promise to say something before they parted ways again. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The two years he spent in Brazil, along with the months with his new team, did eventually pay off. In a glorious moment, crowds cheering in the distance, the ecstatic feeling of victory washed over him. On the other side of the net, Hinata saw Kageyama coming close. 

“You made it,” he said. 

Hinata, for the first time in years, looked him dead in the eye. “Yeah, I’m here now.”

Then, in a softer voice, Kageyama spoke again, “You’re not going to run away again, are you?”

That hit him like a brick wall. He had half the mind to start talking right then and there, but Hinata remembered he was still on the court and there was a net between them. Instead, he let a soft smile play on his lips. 

“No, I’m not. Meet me after the game?”

Kageyama smirked, “I’ll see you in front of your locker room.”

After meeting with their teams and changing out of their sweat-soaked jerseys, they secluded themselves in a hallway far from the others. Hinata had the letter in his hand, taking a moment to relive the wonderful feeling of being alone with Kageyama again. 

They were facing each other, both of their backs against a wall. Kageyama eyed the letter in Hinata’s hand, “What’s that for?”

Hinata looked him in the eye once again, and internally wondered if this was something he liked more than he would admit. “This is looking like a confession, isn’t it? Then again,” he chuckled, “It kind of is. A long-overdue one at that.”

Kageyama’s eyes went subtly wider, and Hinata took that as a cue to go on. 

“I, uh, started writing this letter in Brazil. I realized that if I tried to say everything, the words would just get stuck in my throat again. I don’t want what happened in third year to happen again.”

Truthfully, Hinata was surprised he got those words out. The pit in his stomach started filling with dread again, but if he’d been able to say all that, he wanted to push as far as he coul.

“Back in Brazil, I kept wondering a lot of stuff. If this beach volleyball training would pay off, if a pro team would sign me, or if I’ll even make it out of there alive. Most of all, though, I kept thinking about you. I wondered if I should’ve gone to see you when you were in Rio, if I should’ve called you, or messaged you. If I should’ve told you I loved you, sooner.”

Kageyama stilled, eyes glued to his own. Shock bloomed across his face.

“I wanted to ask you  _ so bad _ , but I kept resisting it. Maybe it’s because I thought I didn’t have to, but it’s probably because I was afraid of what might happen if I did. But I  _ need  _ to know.”

Tears were building up in Hinata’s eyes, but he swallowed the sobs and shakily continued.

“Kageyama, please tell me. If I had said something back then, if that one thing had been different, would things have been different today?”

Then, it was as it always was between them. Silence.

Hinata tilted his head down, trying not to cry as he waited for a reply. Kageyama was staring at him, burning a hole into his skull. The quiet was deafening, and Hinata wondered for a moment if he did the right thing.  _ No, this needed to happen _ . 

“Everything could’ve been different, Hinata.”

He kept his eyes glued to the floor, but his eyes grew wide. 

“I would’ve waited for you, no matter how long it took. I would’ve come to see you in Brazil if you asked. Hell, we could've been on the same team right now. Did you think that kiss meant nothing to me?”

Hinata’s heart ached, another sob building in his throat. “I’m sorry—”

“But I can’t blame you. I can’t fucking blame you because I knew there was something between us too.That time, for the first time in my life, I felt afraid of myself.”

“ _ Kageyama—” _

“But we both have said something now, haven’t we?”

Hinata’s breath was caught in his throat. He tilted his head back up to look at Kageyama. “What are you trying to say?”

Kageyama took a deep breath, “I’m saying that I’m not afraid anymore, and that things can be different  _ now _ .”

Hinata blinked once, twice. He felt his heart crumble before building itself back together. He launched himself onto Kageyama, who caught him with open arms. They pressed themselves against each other, chest-to-chest with arms grasping desperately on whatever they could. The low fire began to burn again, until it became the same blaze it was so many years ago. It wasn’t reignited, Hinata decided. 

It was always there. 

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this at 1 am before going back to sleep and continuing it in the morning lmao thank god i didn’t lose inspiration
> 
> twt: @KUR0CLVB


End file.
